In life blessings and curses are set before us. It's through our choices and decisions in life that we are ultimately blessed or cursed. Clearly one thing I've learned from my life experiences is the extreme importance of making godly choices and decisions. I don't blame God for anything that has happened to me in my life. Everything that I've endured is certainly by my choice because of the decisions that I've made. I'm thankful for God's mercy and grace that brought me through each experience. I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned from them. I'm thankful for the person that these experiences have made me today. I'm thankful for the ability to reach out to others, understand them, feel compassion toward them, share my experiences with them and let them know that God loves them, He wants the best for them, can and will forgive them. I believe that through the course of my life God has given me free will to make the choices I've made and learn the lessons I've learned to cultivate me into who I am to fulfill the specific purpose he has assigned me. He has given each of us a specific purpose and provided us specific gifts and talents in order to fulfill that purpose. He speaks to our hearts and instills within us a great desire for that purpose. We may try to ignore it but it's always there. Satan will try to tell us we're silly because there is no way we could possibly accomplish that. Satan will lie to us and deceive us because he certainly doesn't want us to accomplish anything positive for the kingdom of God.
The Lord informed me seven years ago what His purpose was for me but Satan laughed at me, made me feel silly and told me there was no way anyone would be interested in hearing anything I had to say. I've tried to ignore it by casting it out of my mind but it's always been there in my heart. I would get so frustrated with God saying, "God please! Why won't you let me know what it is you want me to do? I've asked for your guidance. I'm willing to do whatever it is you want me to do. I've submitted to your will." God's reply to me was, "Oh Alecia, but I have revealed my purpose for your life to you. If you are willing to do what it is that I want you to do why have you not submitted? You look at your lack of ability instead of my ability. Do you not realize who I am? Do you not realize that it is me not you? Stop looking at yourself and look to me. It is through the weakest that I can reveal my power. You want me to tell you where to live, where to work, what to do today. This is not my concern. Have I not made provisions for you and your family? What concerns me and what should concern you is what you can do for my kingdom. Is that not what really matters?" WOW! He had so clearly revealed His purpose for me. He has made provisions for me. Yet I've been wandering through the wilderness refusing to submit to His will. Why? I was looking at myself instead of looking to God. Fear of others judgment and condemnation. Fear of failure. Fear of having to take that step into being a Christian publicly instead of remaining in my closet where it's safe and warm. Fear is what has stopped me. Fear has kept me in the wilderness. It was an eleven day journey to Canaan (the Promised Land), yet it took the Israelites forty years to get there. I've known for seven years what the Lord has wanted me to do yet I've wandered through the wilderness. It's time for me to step out in faith, submit to God's will and leave the wilderness.
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