I usually awake to an email from Steve every morning telling me how his day is going, what the weather is like, asking about everyone at home and telling me how much he loves and misses me. I love waking up to those emails. They serve as such a comfort to me knowing that at the time he sent it he was okay. Each email and each phone call provide a little more comfort and a little more strength to make it through until he emails or calls again. That's how this lifestyle is; you have to take it one day at a time, one segment at a time, one moment at a time and sometimes one breath at a time.
I commented on my Facebook page this morning that I hate some of the thoughts that cross my mind when I wake up without an email or when the expected phone call doesn't come. I also realized how different those thoughts that run through my mind are from the thoughts that may run through the mind of a woman whose husband is not working in the middle of a war zone. My fears are regarding his well-being, wondering if there has been an attack, if he has been injured or killed. Naturally, I try to put those thoughts out of my mind and console myself by offering other explanations such as "Perhaps he was busy and just didn't have the time" or "The weather has been bad and their communication systems are not very dependable, perhaps he couldn't get a signal to send an email or maybe the phones are down", "I'll just WAIT until I hear from him". I couldn't help but wonder how many women would be strong enough to handle a situation such as that. One of the other ladies whose husband is over there also commented "We are so strong and most of the times we don't even realize how strong we are." One thing I've noticed is that most of the women whose husbands are over there have faith in the Lord. I don't think it's through our own abilities that we endure this experience but through the Lord's strength He provides us that we are able to endure it. To my Deployed Civilian Contractor (DCC) Sister’s I will say this: When the day seems so lonely and unbearable and you're wondering how in the world you're going to get through it, look to Lord. Psalm 18:1-2 “I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." NIV also: Psalm 28:7 "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song."
I watch the news and see the dismal reports of the economy with unemployment rates and foreclosure rates. I realize that I am so blessed to have such a strong, responsible, loving and courageous husband. Not many in comparison to the number of men in this world would be willing to make the sacrifices that my husband is willing to make for the sake of his family. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate, respect, admire and love my husband for the sacrifices he makes for us. I thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful husband and I thank God for His strength which sustains me because it is certainly not my strength but His that gets me through each day. May God bless each of you and the great men and women, military and civilian who are making such tremendous sacrifices for each of us!
By the way! After I began writing this Steve called and said that he had just been extremely busy and didn't have the time to send an email. Who knows perhaps the Lord allowed me to experience this today because He wanted to say something through me to help someone out there. God bless you!
