I have spent a great deal of time with the Lord this week, learning and growing in Him. After learning the lesson I learned regarding obedience last Sunday, which I shared in my previous blog post, I felt the need to spend most of my time with Him. I recognized that obedience was an area of my life that I needed to acknowledge, grow and move some mountains in my life. The Lord has been helping me this week by revealing areas of disobedience and moving some of those mountains in my life regarding obedience to Him.
I have realized that though I have considered myself a Christian for many years, I have been an extremely disobedient and unruly child of God. I’ve realized the difference between ‘provision’ and ‘blessing’. Provision is when our basic needs are met. Blessing is anything which exceeds provision. Sometimes we are required to sacrifice even some of our most basic needs in order to learn obedience. The Lord revealed to me this week that He has made provisions for me in my life, though I was being disobedient but He will not bless disobedience.
For many years I was looking for ‘blessings’ from the Lord and feeling hurt and rejected when they didn’t come, all the while failing to recognize or acknowledge my disobedience in so many areas of my life. The truth is, the provisions He has made for me in comparison to my level of disobedience should be considered blessings, if that make sense.
The Lord has been trying for seven years to take me on a journey of healing, restoration, forgiveness, strengthening, learning and growing in Him by writing a book. Not only would this book take me on a journey, but by sharing my journey with others would also allow them to take their own journey. Yet, I disobeyed the Lord, listened to Satan’s lies and refused to take the journey by beginning to write.
I’ve been financially disobedient to the Lord by not paying my tithes faithfully and consistently and giving Him what is His. The heart, in which I did give, when I did give, was not a joyful heart, but a heart of greed and expectation.
I have been disobedient in the area of witnessing to others. Witnessing is the call the Lord places on us to share His truths with others and lead them to know Him. This area is the area I’ve always been most intimidated by. I would always think, “Oh Lord, I can’t impose on anyone’s belief system to share mine with them.” I have known for a long time what the Lord has wanted me to do, yet I chose to be disobedient and was foolish enough to expect blessings.
It’s funny how those things in life that we find the most intimidating are so often the very things the Lord calls us to do. I suppose He does that to demonstrate His ability, His strength and His power. When we go into the deep waters, we are completely submitting and surrendering ourselves to Him and His will for our lives. We are walking in blind faith, trusting Him completely. In our demonstration of faith we are being obedient and allowing Him to take us outside of our own understanding and our comfort zones for Him to show us, it is not us and but Him.
We are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. He wants us to submit ourselves to Him allowing Him to use us as His instrument. He wants us to be His arms to reach out to the hurting and the lost. I have finally realized the importance of being obedient to the Lord and the call He has placed on my life as His child.
I want to recognize, acknowledge and change every area of my life in which I am being disobedient to my Heavenly Father. It is not for blessings that I want to be obedient to Him. It is because I love Him and I want Him to accomplish everything that He wants to accomplish through me. He is not a mediocre God. He is an awesome God! He doesn’t deserve mediocrity from me. He deserves for me to give Him my all and my best. I have finally realized what an awesome privilege and honor it is to be the hands and feet of Jesus!
